One thing I have come to realize professionally is the sheer impossibility of understanding complex physical or digital systems with simple intuition. Which is not to devalue those intuitions; they are important(!) ; however acting or investing on those intuitions alone can lead us astray. We don’t just “think” that the bridge will be robust, we rigorously analyze it to our best ability. These analyses aren’t reality – but after one, ten, a thousand bridges (and some failed ones) we start to understand which calculations are important, which ones are not. We learn that there are accurate calculations and inaccurate calculations. Next, we learn that some of the most important calculations are also inaccurate. This forces us to now evaluate our evaluation: what are the bounds of the inaccuracy? The design must then account for the worst case.
It is only natural to react to outside forces. The bridge deck must flex ever-so-slightly to elongate the cable suspending it before the cable will provide additional support. There is no other way
Reacting to the current outside forces is how we must live; there is no other way. But just as the bridge designer provided a thoughtfully-located steel cable to carry that stress with neither unsettling movement nor accumulating negative effects, we should be able to live by design. (Oh dear. I’ve stumbled upon this being the title of a motivational “Dr. Phil” series. Not that)
The design process is, by nature, iterative. Some phases go by in a moment, others take years. It can be applied to anything which is durable. This could be thing like a house or a car. However the boundaries are far wider; perhaps infinite! A musical score, a football play-book. As person who enjoys creating from scratch; I dare say that the hardest thing to do is realize when to change phase. It’s simple to spending too much time building out a concept before testing and realizing a serious flaw, or spend too much time defining the requirement and never get anything built. Sometimes we build things that meets all of the known requirements; our failing was assumed understanding of the needs. The entire cycle is mostly wasted effort.
The goal
To draft a methodology which aids us in responding to the outside forces in our lives.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values
There’s a book that I read in 2009; I read it again in 2019. You have probably heard of it; the title is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig.
While the content of this narrative about the nature of quality work; regardless of the media form (i.e. literary, philosophical, physical, graphical) is interesting and inviting of further exploration; Robert does an excellent job demonstrating that the path to a rational understanding “Quality” is long, twisted, and may lead to insanity. We’re also presented with some contrast between himself and the Sutherlands, their romantic vs intrinsic tendencies. You can ready about Plato and Socrates and all kind of things they teach in Philosophy classes. This is all written in the book. Go read it and talk about it to the philosophers.
There is a much deeper level to this work than simply what the author wrote. Intrinsically, we have a story about a man who battled insanity attempting to articulate his view of the world. The author lived much of the same story; I dare say Robert lived relatively comfortably in the latter half of his life due the success of this novel (two circumnavigations on a small boat being a strain on the definition of comfort).
Without shame, I am equally fascinated by the dynamics of capitalism at work in what is widely considered a masterpiece antithesis of capitalism. Pirsig created a durable, desirable product with rights to the intellectual property, and profited handsomely.
Upon closing this book two weeks ago; there’s the easy way out. It’s tough to quell an initial desire to talk to others about the book. Tough, until it hit me; everyone did that. They write reviews, blog posts. There is even a “guide book” published to read along with it! It is metaphorically kin to buying a walk-through for an RPG. FFVII was by far my favorite video game experience. I can never re-create the experience of playing through the first time, not knowing anything about what was coming. I talked to people about it for years, I dove into web forums, I read into back stories, but it was inescapable; everyone is analyzing this game. I have nothing to contribute. My thoughts on ZAMM are similar.
What, then, does one do in response to reading the “book which inspired a generation” ?
-Buy the guidebook, and the next book, read a thousand reviews?
-Go on a cross country motorcycle trip?
-Go study Buddhism, ancient Greek philosophy, modern philosophy?
From here to there (and back again).
I have decided to do exactly as the title states: begin an inquiry into my values Not for the purposes of monetizing it, not to have the masses criticize or follow it. Why, then?
For the last 15 years, my life has been much like a train passage. When, in 2003 I made the decision to pursue a dual degree BS/MS at the Rochester Institute of Technology in mechanical engineering, it was unfathomable how predictable the future would be.
Imagine leaving Philadelphia on The Pennsylvanian, heading west, and travel for a few days; you might get to Pittsburgh, Chicago, St. Louis, or Detroit. You may get to Kansas or Colorado only by knowing exactly where you want to go and never stopping along the way. California or Oregon is entirely out of reach in the time allocated. Maine and Florida became quite unlikely the moment we chose to go west, not north or south.
I know you got problems… hell, we all do. But you gotta understand that there ain’t no gettin’ offa this train we’re on, till we get to the end of the line.
-Barret Wallace
I would estimate roughly 50% of my life has been spent looking for the end of line, and making decisions at discrete points with limited data. Should I have done it differently? Absolutely Not. I would deeply question my ability to choose a destination so long ago, and there is unquestionably value in letting life drive the train. Life, however, isn’t just a couple d20. It’s an aggregate of capitalistic pressures of America, our emotions and personal needs, family, friends, and many other parameters, but the worst of all is what seems “Urgent”. We forget where we want to go. The pressures of out society shove right, we go right. It matters not where we are or what lies to the right.
Why should we do this? Who has time to articulate a world view?
The theory: One’s world view is of complexity such that it cannot be articulated or accessed for decision making purposes through strict intuition. As we rely on these views and values to make decisions about the future, an articulate and complete understanding of one’s world view and values is necessary to make those decisions optimal.
Only by placing a stake in the ground of our universe, to read the maps, observe the heavens with a sextant, and say “I am here”. Here is complex; we have limited resources, time, friendships, goals, and emotions. My opinion, as one that engineers fairly complex systems, is that the magnitude of complexity would leave any first-pass attempt to be flawed; only by careful refinement and review of our assumptions can something remotely true be formed.
Thus forms the first element
State
What was, What is, What shall be
For a human being, Life is the time we spend between states. Simultaneously meaningless and everything;
One might say that reflection of past states is meaningless, in today’s “Hustle Culture”, the only thing of importance is what’s next. But nothing happens by accident; the next state is a direct result of our actions, and the best lessons in life are the results from our prior actions. Soil and stone exist in one state for millennia, they are mined from the earth and enter a period of transition, emerging in a new state such as bricks and mortar. This periodicity of transition and stability will occur several times over hundreds of years, one day they shall be buried in the soil to slowly decay into the red clay as which they began. Not too different from humans, save that the the poor bricks don’t get a say in the matter.
I took a little time and generated a cute little state chart of my career a few months ago, when I was job searching. (For what it’s worth, I’m not working right now. That’s not an accident.) I can also live comfortably for an undetermined period of time. Not an accident either. A great-paying job with a company and manager that loved this graphic was offered to me; I didn’t take it. The sentence on the far right is just something I typed in a hot minute to tell to hiring managers, not where I want to be.
Seeing how each state falls on a rhythm ~ 5 years? The stops on this train are pretty far apart. Yes, you can do dramatic things like jump off the train. It might derail at the worst possible moment, when we have no say in the matter; Life can deal some insane cards. But here I am; the train left the station and I’m not on it. Which begs the question
Where the hell am I?
Arguments and Parameters
I would be doing a massive disservice to talented software engineers if I considered myself one of them – at the same time, my understanding of computer science is stretches far beyond basic. At its simplest form:
Future State = Function(Current State)
The concept of state is utterly fascinating; it can be composed of as limited or limitless number of parameters as required by the calculation.
Take our red clay brick. It can be in the ground, on truck, at a factory, or wrapped up on a palette. It can be used whole, or it can be chopped up to fit a corner. It can do one of many jobs in the wall; jobs that even have names such as a stretcher, shiner, header, sailor, soldier. The brick can be dry or soaked through, dirty or clean. It can be part of a gleaming skyscraper, or a footway in an ancient garden. Part of something, or all by itself. If alone, is it in a place where it can be used in an assembly? If a part of something, what does the future of that entity hold? The dirty and broken brick in the footway may provide sure footing for a thousand years, while a perfect brick in a building may be reduced to landfill in weeks. This can be because the building lacks intrinsic value (i.e. structural integrity and watertightness), because the building simply does not provide value to justify consuming downtown real estate, or because of disaster.
One could spend hours, perhaps weeks formulating all the parameters describing the current state of a single red brick as it exists in our universe. As an engineer, sometimes we do! A difference in hardness of a brick’s face, or even simply the depth at which a brick face changes from hard to soft, can be the difference between a structure that is sound for 50 years or 5000 years.
Applying this model of “State” to humans can appear linear in theory; just as bricks become walls, walls become floors, floors become buildings, buildings become towns, a lone being can join a household, a neighborhood. City, state, region, country, world. These sorts of demographic macro-views are important, and interesting, but that topic is far above the current discourse. It’s easy – really, really easy- to fall into a trap of commentary with naught for action which does not require the lengthy process consensus in a powerful legislative body. I attended a luncheon a few days ago, full of calls to action. “Call your representative!”
Parameters that define a state.
An incomplete list. The intention is to be applicable to a single person or an organizational structure, such as a club, family or a business.
- Values (this one is complicated)
- Immediate Family – Partners? Children?
- Relationships – Non business and Business
- Responsibilities – People, Pets, Assets, Companies that we are primary caretakers of
- Caretakers – Those that we rely on regularly
- Money: Assets, Liabilities, Income, Expenses
- Health
- Location
- How we spend our time
Goals(struck this one out. Goals are simply future states)- Organizational Membership
- Skills and Credentials
- Accomplishments and Legacy
- Work in Progress
In Conclusion.
a very rough draft
- Values
- Creation >> consumption
- Things that last >> things that are temporary
- Always evaluate the foundation and the roof
- Engineering is most importantly the creation of detailed, actionable, and rationalized documents.
- Intuition is necessary. In fact, intuition tells us when to let the engineers off their leashes.
- Improvement is doing ever more difficult things better
- Good criticism must either provide an alternative or be based on sound logic. Criticism solely based on opinion and intuition is worse than nothing.
- Net Worth matters.
- Always order exactly what you want. Ambiguity generally will not go your way.
- Immediate Family
- My fiancée, whom I am marrying this fall!
- Relationships
- Extending an effort to reconnect with a number of people, both friends and business contacts, which I have left slip during the course of about 3 years in a fairly depressed state.
- Responsibilities – I support my friends and immediate family with some of their home improvement
- Caretakers – My fiancée. The cleaner. The roofer who has been keeping our properties dry.
- Health
- Reasonably Good. Recent Physical (January)
- Delinquent with eye doctor and dentist visit
- Location
- Philadelphia, PA
- How we spend our time
- Introspection / Writing (Mostly this article, and various bits that lead up to it)
- Reading – Zero to One. Physics of Business Growth. ZAAM. Slaughterhouse Five
- My finacee’s and my own family
- Organizational Membership
- First Robotics 423
- Idle – Corinthian Yacht Club, Ivy Ridge Green, MSSC, PADA
- Skills and Credentials
- Accomplishments and Legacy
- Work in Progress
Brian Moses 